Merry Christmas My Jaw-eous Lads and Ladies
Christmas and New Year can be a
magical time, but for some people it is a very difficult time. For people who
have had the operation and cannot eat, do not worry, those extra calories are
no good for you anyway. You can pig out double next year. Winter is finally
here in the UK and don’t we know it?! The cold plays absolute havoc with our
jaws and I feel especially sorry for those of you who still have your titanium
plates and screws. Try to cover up the best you can.
For those of you, like me, who
suffer from chronic pain, Christmas can be a very tough time. Being surrounded
by family who are happy and healthy can be upsetting. Not because you begrudge
them happiness, but because you feel like your happiness is out of reach. There
is the added pressure from all of the endless to do lists; cleaning, wrapping,
shopping, visiting, cooking, money worries etc. I just about cope with my
normal duties!
For those who find it difficult
to fit it all in and to do everything they want to, Christmas seems like more
of a punishment. Sometimes though you just have to put things into perspective
and say ok, well I am not a healthy and fit person, as much as I would like to
be, maybe I need to find another way around this? Maybe sacrificing on wrapping
and putting everything into gift bags is a better idea? Maybe asking for help
with the cooking and cleaning is a better idea than soldiering on? First world
problems ay!
Me 6 months after Double Jaw Surgery! First Xmas
I know it is difficult to see the
wood through the trees sometimes. Over the past few weeks everything seems to
have fallen apart around me. This time last year I lost half of my family and
now this year something equally as shocking has happened. It is really
upsetting. After going through the different emotions and having time and space
to reflect on the situation, I have had some very sobering and humbling
thoughts. There are people all over the world who do not even have food or a
roof over their head. Not through any fault of their own, but because they were
born in a different part of the world. We take so much for granted and some
people just cause unnecessary hurt and drama for no reason. Some people are
fighting to survive the day.
Life has never been about the
material for me. But living in a society where everybody shares their lives has
its drawbacks. You may look at people’s lives online and they seem so perfect.
You may look at the things they have and be jealous and/or upset. Damn it, so
many times I have seen things on Facebook and thought, I wish that were me. But
you know what? I speak to a lot of people and what I have come to realise is….
Facebook is a depressive and what you see online is not reality. Most people
will not even realise what a negative effect Facebook or other online social
sites have on them. But trust me they do. Everybody is trying to soothe their
ego and make themselves feel important, in a world where we are all in
competition with one another. It is so sad and life really should not be this
way. I ask that you be mindful of this the next time you are scrolling through
your news feed.
Ok so it is all very well and
good for me to say this, but what is the alternative?
Try to surround yourself with
positive people and positive things. I like to read inspirational quotes when I
am feeling down. I like to look through photos I have taken on my travels. I
write down positive affirmations for me to read. I read nice books and watch
uplifting and happy films.
Write to do lists and be
proactive. Even if you complete one task a day or you managed to make a phone
call to your friend, accomplishing a goal or target you set out to achieve will
help to lift your mood. Make sure your goals are SMART and that you remain
organised throughout the day. Give yourself structured breaks and be kind to
yourself. As humans we love to create patterns and stability, so a daily
schedule may be helpful over Christmas.
My final message is for everyone,
from the Jaw Surgery patients, to people who have long term pain and health
conditions, to my friends, family and readers, be compassionate to yourself and
your body. You are one of the same. So many people are not able to be
compassionate to themselves. I was directed to Paul Gilbert’s work in August of
this year. It has been one of the resources I have used to get me through. You need to create some time for you and to
do what you want to do. Spare 30 minutes a day for relaxation; meditation, a
hot bath, listen to music, read a book in a quiet room, walk in the park or be
outside in nature. Please find below a link to one of Paul Gilbert’s Seminars.
I have found his teachings and tasks to be very useful.
After learning to be more
compassionate to myself I set up my own Freelance PA & VA service. I am now
working for myself and having the time of my life. My confidence is growing and
I finally feel like I am back on track.
I do not pretend to have the
answers for you, but I do know that you are important too. This is your
Christmas and your life. You cannot be superman/woman 100% of the time. If you
have recently had surgery please be careful over Christmas. Be mindful of your
limitations and what you can manage. You cannot afford to push back your
recovery time. Also, please be careful when you go out in these icy conditions.
Sending you and your family my
love and best wishes for this festive period. I hope Santa brings you
everything you wish for.
Steffie x.x.x
You can now continue the chat and speak with other patients on my new closed Facebook group:
Looking forward to connecting with you soon!
Lots of love always,
Steffie
x.x.x
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