Monday, 19 November 2012

Finally Some Psychological Help #HMMM

Psychological help finally arrives…..

I say this through gritted teeth and with sarcasm in my voice. Here is the letter I had received in the post from Dr Page after waiting for over a year. After waiting, crying, begging, pleading and asking continuously this was the type of uncaring and detached help I was going to be offered. Check it out below.

So let me start to list the reasons why I did not feel I could see this woman for the psychological help I was so hoping for…
  1. She did not even acknowledge my name as the patient (who was feeling worthless and freakish already)
  2. She did not sign the letter, to acknowledge any type of interest or care for my particular case
  3. She specialises in psychological medicine but is not specifically trained in dental
  4. The aim of the appointment is to suggest any additional treatments that might be of use to me….. I will answer that for you… I needed orthognathic surgery
  5. I am happy to talk to you on the phone prior to our appointment if you are still unsure of you would like to proceed (implying again she would rather I did not bother)
  6. If you decide you would rather not see me… we can easily cancel the appointment (again pointing to the fact that this is unimportant)

So after all that, I was understandably angry and I did not pursue it further. Instead I pinned all my hopes and aims on the operation taking place soon. By the end of June 2011 I went for a routine appointment, at the joint clinic, with my orthodontist and my surgeon. My dad was accompanying me and was on the war path to make sure we got a date no matter what. We were there for hours. The other patients must have hated me. After around one hour and half of debating and deliberating, my surgeon and orthodontist agreed to book a preliminary date for surgery. Dr Cobourne said the 1mm of movement should be completed by the operation date. As we still needed to ensure this 1mm of movement of 1 stubborn tooth, the surgeon asked to book me in for the end of July. This would mean that if I was to pass my final year of university, I would be unable to graduate.

I was really torn at this point.  I was not sure if I wanted to go to the graduation after the poor year I had and losing all of my friends due to not being able to attend. I was in so much pain… would I even enjoy the day and would I be willing to sacrifice my graduation for the chance of having the operation completed sooner? I decided against booking the operation for July 2011 and instead the nearest possible surgery date would be Thursday 25th August 2011. I booked it in. My molds and imprints were taken that day for the bite plate to be assembled for surgery. I was also x-rayed and given all the leaflets of what to do pre-surgery.

When we left the building, instead of feeling a sense of relief and happiness that the operation was finally taking place, I remember feeling drained and depleted. I texted my mum to tell her the good news but then remained silent for the rest of the journey home. 

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Lots of love always,